fantasy horoscopes

Regardless of your astrological sign, weird transits, eclipses, retrogrades, and all other manner of heavenly movments, there is always a fantasy horoscope you can call on to help you through whatever stands before you.

Fantasy Horoscopes are just happy mantras to counteract the blues, the heavies, the sads, the angers, the griefs.

Pick one and pass it on.

Choose In

Sure, you’d rather hang out in the trees, keeping a safe distance from all the assholery is taking place in your life. Frankly, sitting in a tree and shouting out your feelings would serve you.

It might not serve others around you, though.

People can be scary, overwhelming, and frankly, just dicks.

People can also be a warm hug, a listening ear, and some weird idea that just might make everything and everyone better.

Choose in. Choose to risk the scary in order to have a warm hug.

Then you can go back in your tree.

Reward Yourself

Did you do hard things today? Of course you did. It may have been simply getting out of bed or taking a shower. BRAVO! Maybe you finally took the first step in something you’ve put off doing. Maybe you finished your thesis, or emptied the dishwasher.

Whatever you did, you deserve to reward yourself. Hell, you’re still alive, celebrate!

And the best part: you get to choose what your reward is! Anything you want! Early to bed? You got it. Walk around the neighborhood at dusk? Do it. A long call with your bestie? Get dialing!

We all struggle with worthiness issues. (Can we just agree as a world we’re gonna give that up?) There is no Worthiness Police. In fact, there is no such thing as worthy/unworthy. You are a bloody miracle. Just know that you deserve every good thing.


Play and the Inner Child

I don’t know about you, but my inner child is into Barbies, Nancy Drew, dancing, building things with my blocks, and loving everything creative and wild.

She’s also really fucking annoying when she wants my attention.

So, if the moon is in the sky and Leo is the lion, take time to play today. Check in with Little Annoying You and see what she wants. Do that. Maybe it’s a shaved ice in your favorite flavor. Maybe it’s cutting off the hem of a dress that just doesn’t sit right.

Or maybe it’s dying your hair like a fucking unicorn.

Play. Play with your little self. Make a date. Have a tea party. Play the music of your youth. Have fucking fun.


The Non-Escape Escape

Today is a day for escape.

But not the kind of escape where you numb out, sleep all day, medicate too much, and turn off.

Nope, this is a non-escape escape. This is when you remove yourself from the world and be completely with yourself.

How’s your connection to sacred things? What’s up with your chakras?

What is really bugging you? Scaring you? Holding you hostage?

Those are the things we are going to escape to. Breathe and know you’re safe. This is, after all, a journey into yourself. It’s familiar territory and the fears are only in your mind.

Escape to Yourself. You are the greatest of the wonders of this world.